Introduction

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you weren't expecting something on growing cactus's! This is really about my mother -  a very prickly woman. Persevere and I'm sure you will be find it interesting, informative, poignant and humorous.  Please feel free to leave comments.

Colin

 The first question was, “How do you react to certain people?” With my mother in mind, I completed the questionnaire.

 Are they so unpredictable that you’re constantly on your toes, waiting for the next verbal attack? YES!

When you try to calm them down does it only make them angrier? YES!

Do you feel manipulated, controlled or even lied to sometimes?  YES!

Does this person attempt to get what they want by making you responsible for their feelings.  YES!

Is everything always about them?  YES!

Do you feel that their expectations of you are constantly changing so that you can never do anything right?   YES!

Right now, are you thinking, “I had no idea that anyone else was going through this”? YES!

And so I began my mental health volunteer training with a tutor who had a string of letters after his name: MSc, MCIPD, Cert. Ed., Dip CN, RMN, RGN. However, his rambling stories and lack of teaching skills were more than compensated for by the book he lent me on Borderline Personality Disorder. At last an explanation for my feelings toward my mother!  After over 60 years of guilt, condemnation and a sense of failure as a son. I have an explanation.  It’s not my fault!

As part of my therapy, I started to keep a diary: a record of conversations and events, plus stories my mother told me about her past and her family. I began to piece together the family history and discover who my mother was; who the people were and what the events were that shaped her life. I also discovered the secrets and lies.

 For over 90 years she was like a prickly cactus. But in the final 6 months of her life, against all my expectations, the cactus blossomed and flowered