4 January 2011
Left home at 7:30 am and walked into Exmouth to take mum
& dad to the hospital for mum’s CT scan.
Phoned them at 8am to make sure they were still expecting me.
“Why are you coming this early, we’re not dressed yet.”
“I said I’d collect you
at eight fifteen so that we’d have time to get through the Exeter rush hour in
time for nine fifteen.”
“Nine fifteen. What
do you mean? Our appointment is not until nine seventy five!”
“Nine seventy five?
There is no such time. There are only 60 minutes in an hour. You've got it wrong.”
“It can’t be wrong. Your
sister wrote it down for me on the calendar before she flew back home. It
definitely says nine seventy five.”
When I arrived I checked the calendar. Mum had miss-read
9:15 for 9:75. Sometimes all common sense goes out the window with mum. Managed
to get to the hospital in time.
Dad was very unstable on his feet so, on the way back, we
went to the Mobility shop and bought him a Zimmer frame on wheels. It has a
seat and a bag for shopping. Mum begins to eye it covetously.
11 January 2011
Phone call from dad: he wants to change his “Walker” for
something smaller.
Reason 1: It is too big to get into the car. I had showed
him when we bought it how it folds up neatly to get it in the boot of the car, so
reminded him that it went perfectly well into the car when we bought it.
Reason 2: (And we are getting nearer to the truth here). Mum
says that dad’s “Walker” is too wide. When they walk down the street together,
they can’t walk side by side, she has to walk behind dad.
Reason 3: (The real reason). It is too wide for the flat and gets in the
way of mum pushing her “Walker” around. Dad’s “Walker” is fine for him but
inconvenient for mum.
12 January 2011
Had a phone call from the hospital regarding the results of
mum's CT scan last week. She has a growth on the lung that continues to
grow. In all probability, this is cancer. The oesophagus is OK. What the scan
showed up last time was probably an infection.
Mum is going back to the Hospital 9am next Thursday for
another scan plus a guided biopsy. She should be in for about 4 hours - unless
her lung collapses! (decided not to tell mum this piece of information.) The hospital is also going to give her a
breathing test and a blood test..
I asked whether the growth was the cause of her shortness of
breath and was told, "No". The growth is too small to affect her
breathing. I also asked about a treatment plan. Mum's case is reviewed
every Tuesday morning by the consultant and his team. Options: surgery,
radiotherapy, or do nothing. (Doing nothing is an option because it is not
affecting her quality of life, nor should it)
Mum was not happy when I reported back what the hospital had
said. She is convinced that she has a serious cancer problem and that it is the
cause of her breathing problems and loss of speech. Strangely, before I told
her what the hospital had said, her breathing and voice were normal.
13 January 2011
Phone call from irate mum. The nurse had phoned her and asked to speak to
me! Mum has an appointment tomorrow at 3:15. Said I’d pop by this afternoon to
finalise transport arrangements.
When I arrived, mum had lost the piece of paper she’d
written the place and times on. She
searched everywhere and then accused dad of throwing it away. She was convinced
that she was going to have a blood test tomorrow at 9am. I explained that her 9am appointment was for
next week. This week’s appointment is at 3:15pm. Nothing could shift her from saying that it
is tomorrow at 9am. She can’t remember
where the appointment is either. All she can remember is, “medical centre”.
I phoned her doctor at the Exmouth Medical Centre. They have
no record of mum having any appointment for tomorrow. I phoned the Consultant
at Exeter Hospital. His secretary searched through the hospital database and
discovered that the appointment is for 3.15pm tomorrow in the Cardiology
department. Mum is flabbergasted that
the appointment is not at 9am tomorrow; because that is the day she is having
the scan and biopsy. Again, I explain
that the scan and biopsy is NEXT week. I also asked her why she told me the
appointment was at the “Medical Centre” when the hospital had said “Cardiology
Department”.
“When they phoned I
wrote it down, but I couldn’t spell “cardiology”, so I wrote “medical centre.”
“Yes, but you are not writing it down when you are speaking
to me. You don’t need to know how to spell “Cardiology” when you are saying it.”
“You don’t know how
ill I am. I can’t breathe or speak because of this illness”
“No, that’s not true.
Remember what the doctor said yesterday? The growth is too small to affect your
breathing. He said you probably have an infection. Have you finished taking the
antibiotics that the doctor prescribed?”
“Yes.”
At this point Dad interjected, “No, she threw them away.”
“Shut up Horace.” She said.
“Why didn’t you take the pills?”
“I didn’t like the side effects”
“What? You prefer not breathing?”
“You don’t know how ill I feel.”
“It could be that you are feeling anxious.”
“I’m not anxious! I’m depressed! And I know what is making
me depressed.”
“That's good, because if you know, you can do something
about it.”
“You don’t know how ill I am. The hospital phoned to speak
to you this morning.”
“They asked to speak to me, not because of how ill you are,
but because they wanted someone sensible to speak to.”
At last, I had the last word!
14 January 2011
They had been up since 4am! They went to bed early so that they
could get up early in time for the 9am Hospital appointment for scan and
Biopsy. When I didn’t turn up, they
realised the scan / biopsy appointment was for the afternoon. I
explained again that the scan and biopsy were NEXT WEEK.
Mum started to get her self ready to go but there was no
sign of dad getting his shoes & coat on. When I asked why, mum said that he
was too tired (having got up and 4am) and doesn’t wasn’t to hang around the
hospital for 4 hours whilst she has her scan and biopsy. I explain again that the scan and biopsy are
NEXT WEEK, and today is just the blood / breathing tests.
“Will they keep me in overnight?”
“ No! its just a blood breathing test !!!!!”
Arrived at Hospital for the breathing test. No one had told
them that mum has a tracheotomy. They scoured the hospital for an adaptor and then
put a clothes peg over her nose.
Took her for the blood test. She was worried. In the past,
they had had problems getting blood out of her arm. My comments about trying to
get blood out of a stone fall on deaf ears. I told her that to increase the
blood supply she should sit with her arms outstretched: which she duly does.
She is so easily fooled. Anyway, it worked and she is in and out in no time.
On the way back, she asked about the scan and biopsy and why
it will take 4 hours. She thought that they were just going to put a tube down
her tracheotomy. I gave her all the gory details: local anaesthetic, trapped in
scan machine, hole in chest, being awake and able to watch what they are doing,
need to rest afterwards because of danger of a lung collapsing - the full
works. All untrue but at least she’s got
it into her mind that it is NEXT WEEK.
15 January
Mum had tried phoning me but I was out in the garden digging
the potato patch. My wife took a message and I went over to see them.
Mum has had a letter from her consultant, cancelling her appointment for next Monday
due to “unforeseen circumstances”. Mum
denies all knowledge of this hospital appointment. She is going to phone him up and complain about
cancelling an appointment she didn’t knew she had.
I explained that it is in my diary and we had arranged that I was going to take her. She couldn't understand
why I knew about this and she didn't. It didn't occur to her that she might have forgotten.
I suggested that in future, if she needed to contact me, that
she call me on my mobile phone, which I keep with me 24/7 in case she needs me.
I wrote the number in their phone book.
17 January
“Why are you phoning me on the land line? I said use my
mobile.”
“I am using your mobile number.”
“No. You are speaking to me on the land line.”
“No I'm not. I phoned your mobile number.”
“Well, how come the land line rung and your voice is coming
down it?”
“There must be something wrong with your mobile phone.”
“But you haven’t phoned my mobile, you've phoned the land
line.”
Mum (voice getting louder): “I definitely phoned your mobile
phone number.”
“You couldn't have done! You’re speaking to me on the land line! Check the number.”
“I phoned the house phone number.”
“The house phone number is not my mobile phone number.”
“We got up early this morning to go to the hospital for the
blood test.”
“We did that on Friday.”
“What am I going to the hospital for this afternoon?”
“You’re not going to the hospital this afternoon. The doctor
cancelled it”.
“What about my scan?”
“That is next Thursday.”
“I'm not well. My blood pressure is very high. I called the ambulance yesterday.”
“What did the paramedic say?”
“There is nothing wrong with me. But the nurse is coming
this afternoon. But I'm going to the hospital this afternoon.”
“No. It’s been cancelled. You are going on Thursday.”
“But why am I going?”
“To have a scan and a biopsy.”
“I’ll tell the nurse when she comes.” She said, and put the
receiver down on me.
18 January
Why are you phoning me on the land line? You now have a
dedicated line to me on my mobile. Any place. Any time. 12/7.”
“I tried phoning you on your mobile but you were out and Jan
(my wife|) answered.”
“When was that?”
“Last Saturday. You were out in the garden.”
“No, you phoned the land line. That’s why Jan answered it. I
had my mobile phone in my pocket, when I was out in the garden.”
“No, I definitely phoned you mobile.”
“Did you phone the number you've just phoned to get me now?”
“Yes.”
“You’re speaking to me on the land line!”
21 January
8am Collected Mum to take her to the hospital for her scan
and Biopsy. She wouldn’t let dad take his “walker”. She says that it is too big
and gets in the way. But he can use hers at the hospital. She can’t understand
that his is the same width as hers, only that the handles have been adjusted
upwards a couple of inches because dad is taller than she is. She cajoles him
into getting ready and we leave.
In the car, dad and I started to discuss how we are going to
spend the time whilst we waited for mum and decided on the Hospital Restaurant.
“Don’t get your wallet out, Horace, in the restaurant. I’ll
give you some change. I've got a purse full of £1 coins”
“Why?” I asked
“He’s only get £20 notes in his wallet”
“Why is that a problem?”
“I don’t want him holding up the queue, getting change for a
£20 note.”
Why is that a problem?”
“It’s Embarrassing”
“Who for? You’re not going to be there!”
“What will people say if he holds up the queue trying to
change a £20 note?”
“What people? You won’t be there and dad & I don’t
care.”
“Horace, take this £4 for your dinner?
“What about my dinner?”
“Take this other £4.”
“Supposing we want morning coffee and a cake?”
“Take this £4”
“What about afternoon tea and a cake?”
“Have another £4.”
“Dad now has £16 one pound coins in his pocket. Wouldn't be
easier just to have a £20 note?"
Got to the Hospital to discover that the scan was not until
12noon. She had to spend the morning on a ward having tests. She won’t be
finished until at least 4pm. Walking up to the ward, she complained about dad
holding us up. He was walking too slowly. Because she had insisted that he use her “walker” the handles were too low for him, he was bent over and couldn't see where he was going.”
“He should never have come. Why did you make him come?”
“Me? I didn't make him come.”
“He didn't want to come, but he didn't like to tell you”
“Dad, did you want to co me?”
“Yes.” He said.
“It’s going to be a long day. I think I’ll take dad home and
collect you this afternoon.”
Dad was obviously flagging, so I sent him down to the Main Entrance
to wait until I had delivered mum to the ward.
I went back down to the main entrance to find dad. Although
they have been up since 5am, I discovered that he hadn't had any breakfast. No
wonder he was flagging! I took him up to the restaurant and use some of mum’s
£1 coins to buy him a cooked breakfast.
Collected mum at 5pm. Mum has in a good mood. She had enjoyed
being the queen bee and having the doctors and nurses fuss over her.
22 January
My eldest sister phoned my parents this morning. No answer.
Minutes later mum phoned her back
“Did you just ring?”
“Yes.”
“I was in the toilet put a pessary up”
“Oh.”
“I 'haven't finished yet, so I'll ring you back in a few
minutes”.
Mum phoned her again.
“I'm very constipated, and have to use a pessary.”
“Won't you need the toilet soon?”
“It takes about 15 minutes to work. Dad has gone shopping. This
is the first time he's been shopping on his own. (I beg to differ) If he's gone
for longer than 2 hours, I will have to call the police. Your father’s not
well, probably due to worrying about me. I’ll probably go before him.”
“Why don't you put a piece of paper in his pocket with his
name and address and phone number, just in case he trips or something?”
“No, he doesn't need that, he has the trolley with 4
wheels.”
Thankfully dad returned.
No comments:
Post a Comment