2 May
2013
What’s happened to mother? It’s strange, I don’t remember
mum ever being like this. She has become a sweet gentle old lady. She is at
peace with herself and the world about her. She has a new sense of contentment.
All the anger, bitterness and resentment seem to have melted away. Having a
stroke can’t be all bad!
The down side is that not only has she forgotten to be
negative, she’s forgotten that she has a son! She tells everyone that I am her
"Toy Boy". I'm worried that she’s starting to believe it!
5 May
2013
The Discharge Team want to send mother home. The problem is,
every time I visit there is a different discharge nurse on duty and I have to
go over the facts again. They seem to think that mother already lives in a
nursing home that she has 24 hour medical care. With monotonous regularity I
keep telling them that a) mother doesn’t
have 24 hour medical care where she is and b) I’ve given in her notice where
she lives and she is homeless.
8 May 2013
More problems with the Discharge Nurse (a different one
today). “No I cannot take mother home. She is homeless!” I went to the Hospice
for advice. They can’t help but suggested that I contact the Palliative Care
Team to find somewhere for mother to live.
11
May 2013
Discharge Team gave mother a “test” today to prove that she
could go home. They sent her into the
ward kitchen to make a cup of tea, which she duly did. Unfortunately she forgot
to put water in the kettle before switching it on to boil, nearly setting the
place on fire. (See, I told you she wasn’t fit to look after herself!)
14 May 2013
Mum still doesn’t have much use of her right hand. Got onto
the Social Worker today to find out why they have been so slow in finding mum
somewhere to live. Apparently no one has
approved the funding yet.
15 May 2013.
I’ve been visiting mum most days. I’m really
enjoying spending time with this new found sweet old lady.
There was no improvement with mum’s right hand. Also, I
noticed that her feet were very swollen. I reported this to the nurse. No one
had noticed! I wheeled mum down to the coffee shop but after about 15 minutes
she said she was tired and wanted to go back to the ward. Unheard of for mum
who could happily sit all day drinking cappuccino in the coffee shop.
The discharge nurse still wants to get rid of mum and is
threatening to send mum to another hospital.
17 May 2013
Again, I asked her to name her children. She said, “Irene, Diane,
the House Manager and the other one.” It must be bad because she couldn’t
remember her son-in-law’s name either – the one who phones his mother every
Sunday at 10am. Although she doesn’t mention that any more.
19
May 2013
The charge nurse called me into her office today as I was
leaving mum. She told me that mum had been a bit weepy because she couldn't
remember her son's name. (I'm still “the other one".)
20
May 2013
Mum is getting forgetful and muddled. She phoned me this morning
to ask me to take in all her tracheotomies. She'd forgotten that they were in a
Nescafe coffee jar on her bedside table. When I got there, she was very anxious
because she'd not changed her tube since she'd been in hospital. Spoke to her
nurse, who assured me she'd seen her change it that very morning (and every
morning).
21 May 2013
Took mother down to the cafe for afternoon tea and cake. Mum
told me that they hadn’t feeding her and she hadn’t been getting anything to
eat – no meals, nothing. So, on top of
the large slice of cake (yes I know she’s diabetic), I bought her a packet of
crisps.
Back at the ward I asked the nurse if mum was eating OK. She
said mum was eating like a horse. I went back to her to find her tucking into a
large plate of cheese salad and pasta & a dessert.
22 May 2013
Mum’s s memory has made a slight improvement. She has remembered
that she likes a glass of brandy every day – could I bring her in a bottle. I was a bit
dubious about this and spoke to one of the nurses. The nurse said, “Your
mother’s 90 it’s not going to harm her at her time of life.” But also noting
could I bring it in a plastic bottle.
24 May 2013
Took mum in some brandy in a small plastic bottle. It looks
suspiciously like a urine sample.
Mum asked if I could take in her sewing machine so that she
could do a few jobs for the nurses. (Some things will never change, even with
dementia.)
25 May 2013
Can’t quite get used to this new mum. For years now every time
I have visited mum, I have braced myself for a battle, a row, an argument, a
criticism. But no. I am greeted by this sweet old lady. This prickly cactus is
starting blossom. We have fun! Humour! Our
daily routine includes not just a trip to the Hospital café but a glass of
brandy. We have a merry time together!
30 May 2013
Mum told me today that she was 90 and still had her looks
and that she hoped that I'd keep my looks when I got old. However she didn't
think I'd live as long as her because people of her age had "good
innards". She then told me the story again of my grandmother saying,
"If you've good innards, Maggie, you can fight anything". Every five
minutes she asked what her hair looked like. She has become a sweet old lady,
but she's still as vain as ever! I guess some things will never change.
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