Friday, 25 October 2019

Vol 4 - The Diary. February and March 2011

7 February 2011

 Have cancelled mum’s funeral plans!

We went to the hospital and saw a very nice lady Consultant who gave us 40 minutes of her time. Mum has cancer on the left lung. It is "busy" but not "aggressive". It is growing, but growing slowly. It has doubled in size during the past 6 months. She recommended that no intrusive action be taken. Mum's lungs were not "robust enough" for an operation. Radiotherapy would damage healthy tissue and would also mean going to the hospital every day for 4 weeks. They could plug her into a microwave oven and blast the cancer from the inside but this would mean going to Leeds and involve a stay in hospital for a week. Given mum's age and state of health she wouldn't advise this. The cancer itself is not the cause of any of mum's other symptoms. Mum's blood pressure and blood oxygen levels were fine. The doctor said that mum will have this cancer for the rest of her life. In all probability mum will die of something else before the cancer kills her. - unless the cancer mutates into something more aggressive. She's got to go back in another 3 months for an x-ray and to see the Consultant.

After the consultation I took the parents to the hospital restaurant for a celebration lunch, although one senses that mum is slightly disappointed that she is not as ill as she’d like.  After lunch I asked them both if they needed to go to the toilet. Both said they were OK so I went and got the car and brought it round to the main entrance. When they got into the car mum said, "Don't worry about the smell, dad's messed himself". So we had to drive all the way back to Exmouth with the windows open.

8 February 2011

Took dad’s car for a full valet service at the car wash run by people who look like the Albanian Mafia.

24 February 2011

Mum was taken into hospital 12:30 am last night. Difficulty in breathing and "imagining things". Nothing new there then.  Hospital didn’t seem over concerned so we went off to visit our daughter for the week.

2 March 2011

Dad took the car and went to visit mum in hospital this afternoon on his own. He left the hospital at 4pm and got lost. He somehow got to Crediton (26 miles north, in the opposite direction to home) He then made his way toward Honiton (33 miles east), before picking up the A30 and driving the 26 miles back to Exeter. (He took a wrong turn and ended up back in the centre of the City). In the mean time he'd hit something and damaged the off-side front wheel. He eventually arrived home at 10pm. A 6 hour journey that normally takes 25 minutes. They are talking again about giving up the car and buying motorized scooters. Someone please stop them! 

3 March 2011

Mum came out of hospital this afternoon. Apparently, she's had shingles! They kept her in so long because there was no one sensible to look after her at home. She was discharged with 8 different packets of medication.

11 March

The doctor has called on mum to tell her that she now has bone cancer. I'm taking her for a full body bone scan next Thursday. Hopefully we'll know precisely where the bone cancer is.  She is in a lot of pain and the doctor has upped the prescription for the painkillers to 400mg (up from 30mg) 3 times a day.

15 March 2011

Took Dad for his scan in Taunton: mum stayed at home. She was in a lot of pain, and was still a bit confused over what is happening and what illness she has.

“No, mum, eating more cabbage is not going to cure cancer, even though your mum said that you can fight anything with good innards.”  And anyway, a flatulence enhancer is the last thing she needs right now.

I followed the directions sent by the hospital. The scanning unit is still in the same carpark as when I took mum for her scan last year. I got dad up the wonky stairs and into the mobile scanning unit only to be greeted by members of staff shrieking, “Get out! Get out”. What we had thought was the scanning unit was now an overflow to the women's ward. We were escorted out of the unit and redirected to another car park. (Hospital info had not been updated.)

Dad was asked various questions before he signed the consent form.

"Do you know why you are here today?" the nurse asked
"No."
"Of course you do. You've come for a scan because you have lung cancer." I said.
"Have you ever been in hospital?"
"No".
"Of course you have. You nearly died when you were in Lowestoft! Not to mention Scotland."
"Do you have any breathing problems?"
"No."
"But you have breathing problems all the time. You are supposed to use an inhaler." I said.
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Are you trying to be funny? Of course you smoke. You've smoked all your life!"
"How many cigarettes a day do you smoke?"
"One"
"You're joking. Mum's not here – tell her the truth!"
"Have you had your tonsils out?"
"What's that got to do with it? He's got lung cancer", I said.
"I'm just filling in the form." replied the nurse.

I left dad to have his scan and went for a pleasant walk around the cemetery conveniently situated next to the hospital.

I collected dad and helped him to get dressed. Strangely, the wall kept sliding backwards and forwards revealing a woman stretched out on some contraption of a chair awaiting for what looked like some gynaecological examination.  I discovered that I kept leaning against some emergency button that operated the sliding wall / emergency exit.

2pm. Dad had had nothing to eat or drink since before 6am, so took him out to lunch at the motorway service area. (The hospital cafe was miles away at the other end of the hospital. No way was dad going to be able to walk there.) Dad had fish and chips and I had Sushi. Persuaded dad to put some of my wasabi on his fish. The good news is that he didn’t choke to death and he'll never suffer from sinus problems again.

Back home and mum had had an exhausting day washing the bathroom and the kitchen floor. When she "goes" she doesn't want people to think that the place was dirty. I suggested that her time could have been better spent dusting as I wiped my finger across the top of the TV and said, "Look at the muck in this place!" She wasn't impressed. She was even less impressed when I reminded her that the Lady Consultant wasn't expecting mum to go anywhere just yet.

"I've got cancer and you just sit there and expect me to make you cups of tea."
"I'm doing it for you own good, mother. When you're making me cups of tea, it’s taking your mind off how you are feeling and stops you becoming miserable. Get your best biscuits out. I know you hide them on top of the cupboard."

I suggested that dad contact his insurers re the spare wheel. It has no tyre on it and it is heavily dented around the rim, both inside and outside. He has no recollection of how he did it.

Apparently, mum had tried phoning my eldest sister but her phone was engaged, so, she tried phoning my middle sister and her phone was engaged too. Conclusion? My sisters were on the phone together talking about her. Probably true.  Dad said that mum doesn't like me emailing my sisters and telling them what mother gets up to.  So, Mum’s the word!

When my sisters do phone, mother makes no mention of dad going to the hospital for a lung cancer scan today.

17 March

Took mum for bone cancer scan. She had an injection at 12noon and then we had to wait two hours for the scan. I left the parents to sleep in the comfortable chairs in the waiting area whilst I took their car to the garage to replace the spare wheel. Their car is practically worthless. Low mileage, but badly scratched around the wheel arch from when dad got lost after visiting mum in hospital. He still has no idea what happened to him or how the car was so badly damaged.

Mum had completely forgotten that I'd taken dad to Taunton for a lung cancer scan. She kept preening herself today, saying that the nurses couldn't believe she was 90 next year. I said that this was because they all thought she was already a 100. She has no sense of humour.

The good news is that she asked after my youngest sister. I broached the subject of my sister visiting them again in the summer but mum doesn't think she'll still be here in the summer. Anyway, no one is to come to her funeral. And no flowers please. 

31 March

Mum had a fall last night. Apparently, it was my eldest sister’s fault. Mum was asleep in her armchair when my sister inconsiderately phoned at the wrong time, woke mum up with a start which made her unstable on her feet.

I took mum to the hospital for an x-ray. Nothing broken, just bruised. On the way out, mum was complaining about how painful it was - but rubbing the wrong leg. Mum had lied when the nurse asked her about what medication she was taking. I interjected and explained that no, mother is not taking the morphine based medication prescribed by her doctor because she has a fear of side effects. Mum had not taken any morphine since I dosed her up on Tuesday. Mum was not pleased with me. She’s got glaring down to a fine art.

Whilst we were at the hospital, dad was at the opticians, so I dropped mum off and went to collect him. At the end of the consultation the optician called me in to express his concern. Dad’s eyes have deteriorated considerably in the past months. There may be something at the back of his eye but the optician can't be sure because of the cataracts - which have also grown in the past few months. (Perhaps this accounts for dad's problem with driving?) Anyway, the optician is writing to the hospital to arrange for dad to have a cataract operation as soon as possible. We have to wait 5 working days and then phone the hospital for an appointment. I have now confiscated dad's car keys and forbidden them to buy an electric scooter.

Went home and Googled Munchausen syndrome. This is a term for psychiatric disorders known as facitious disorders wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves. It is also sometimes known as hospital addiction syndrome or hospital hopper syndrome. Nurses sometimes refer to them as frequent flyers. I think I’ll add this to the list of mum’s illnesses.

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