2 July
2013
We have resumed our twice weekly tour of coffee shops in the
area. Mum has become a cappuccino connoisseur – which is a surprise after all
those years of her using a battery operated whisk to froth up milk for her
instant coffee. She has “one shot” of espresso and plenty of chocolate
sprinkles. The espresso coffee plays havoc with her haemorrhoids and the
chocolate sprinkles don’t do her diabetes any favours. But at this time of life,m
as mum syas, “every day is a bonus”
5
July 2013
Believe it or not, I am still sorting out my mother’s things!
They all scattered around our spare bedroom. How many nail clippers can one
person have? I also keep coming across silver tracheotomy tubes and bags of
boiled sweets! (Sadly the boiled sweets have all melted into each other and have set
like concrete.)
6 July 2013
Because my mother has lost so much weight, none of her clothes
now fit her so my wife had to take her out clothes shopping. Because mum “isn’t
going to be here long” she doesn’t want to waste money on new clothes and
insisted of going to all the charity shops in town. Because there was nowhere
to try them on, mum had to get them on sale or return: on the strict
understanding that mother didn’t take off the labels and tags.
7 July 2013
My wife has the patience of a saint! Today she went to my
mother to take back any of the sale or return clothes that mother didn’t want
only to discover that mum had cut out the labels and tags before trying them
on. The clothes either didn’t fit or she didn’t like, and of course there is
now no way of taking them back! They are
to be donated to different charity shops. Mum continues to be happy and contented in her new home
8 July 2013
Today my wife went out clothes shopping for mother on her
own. She took the clothes back to mum and stood over mum whilst she tried them
on making sure that mother didn’t take the labels or tags off.
9 July 2013
I went over to visit mum to discover that she had persuaded
the staff to get her sewing machine out. Mum was busy in the lounge trying to
sew something. Even though the Care Assistant was there to help, mum was
getting frustrated because she couldn’t use her right hand,
Mum blamed the Care Assistant for making her nervous. I
explained (again) about the stroke, and how it has affected her hand and that
for health and safety reasons she needed someone with her at the machine.
We then went out into the garden for coffee and she admitted
that she couldn't cope with the sewing machine anymore, and that she felt she
was making a fool of herself in front of everyone. She wants me to take it
away. At least she has made that decision for herself. This was a hard and
painful choice for her to make: using a sewing machine has been a central part
of her life for nearly 80 years. I could see it was another bereavement for
her.
13 July 2013
On the whole, mum is happy and content in a way that I‘ve
never seen her before. But there is definitely a gradual decline and she is
becoming more and more muddled. She is becoming more and more like her brother,
my uncle Harry – especially when she takes her teeth out. (Yes she’s still
doing her Popeye impersonations)
16 July 2013
Good news: mum’s previous landlord has reimbursed her with
her rent for the time she was in hospital. The £850 should keep us going at
Costa Coffee for a few weeks.
18 July 2013
Today is my birthday. Overwhelmed - Mum gave me a birthday
card! I don’t know how she remembered, I
usually have to remind her of people’s birthdays, buy the cards for her and
write the message. This time last year she positively refused to send me a
birthday card when my wife offered to buy her one for me. In factr she’s not sent
me a card in 6 years, and before that whenever she sent a card she just signed
it “mum”. This year she had tried to write, “with all my love mum” followed by incomprehensible
hieroglyphics. Dare I hope thay they could be kisses?. I guess she does appreciate and love me after all. Had a little
cry,
31 July 2013
Today my mother is 91. We took her out for a meal: a Carvery
that serves 12 different vegetables. Mum loves her vegetables. She was
obviously finding it difficult to use a knife and fork and I had to cut her
food up for her just as I used to for my own children. As my mother is growing
older our roles are reversing. I have become the parent in this relationship.
Mum’s conversation went in a continuous loop. “I love vegetables”……..”I love
vegetables”…….I love vegetables”. I just
wish my kids had said the same.
My wife took mum to the Ladies and noticed that mum wasn’t
wiping herself nor washing her hands. It really is like going out with a
toddler. Even my 4 year old grandson knows what to do when he goes to the
toilet.
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