Vol 4. The Diary. July & August 2011

8 July 2011

Dad is now housebound. He has been banned from driving by the Driver and Vehicle Licencing Agency; on top of that they live in an upstairs flat with no lift. 24hrs a day locked up with mum with no hope of escape.

We are all in their bad books. They know that we conspired to report dad to the DVLA about his cataracts, bad eyesight and accidents.

18 July 2011

No birthday card from parents. However my brother-in-law has received a birthday card and a cheque for his birthday. He rang them to say thank you and was told by mother that her arthritis is so bad that she is unable to use the stairs.

22 July 2011

My middle sister has received a letter from my parents. They want the money back that they had put aside for their funerals to use it towards moving expenses for their new flat. New flat? Yes they are moving again! The stairs where they moved to just last month have proved too much for them and they are moving into a ground floor sheltered housing scheme. I know for a fact that my parents don’t need the money. They keep thousands of pounds in cash in chocolate boxes in their wardrobe.

They also want to put the money toward buying new furniture, and wait for it, an answering machine! Because (no lie) "they have friends who call every other day to inquire how mother is and mum doesn't want to miss their calls. These ‘friends’ know that mum has cancer and they are very concerned." Whatever story mum has told these people about her “cancer” it is certainly not the story she got from the hospital.

My sister is to write back to my father, and then mother added mysteriously, “in case the phone is disconnected”. The second page of the letter had been cut off halfway down and so we suspect that there was more but that they changed their minds and snipped it off.

Mum also now knows that I am meeting up with my eldest and youngest sisters soon. 

I am going to organise a competition to see who can come up with the best message for mum's answering machine.

"I am sorry there is no one available to take your call at the moment. We are in a bad mood and not talking to anyone." "I am sorry there is no one available to take your call at the moment. We aren't talking to our children but want to see if they phone us anyway."

23 July 2011

I went into town this morning to collect a prescription for my mother-in-law. The chemist's is next to a second hand furniture shop and who should be standing outside, but mum! She saw me, and nipped into the shop.

I waited inside the Chemist’s until I could see her and dad come out. They must have thought the coast was clear. But as soon as I saw them I stepped out of the chemist’s and stood in their path. As they came toward me I smiled and said, “Hi mum. Hi dad.”  They both looked at me and then turned their heads away, walking past me, looking the other way, ignoring my greeting. I felt really sad. This could have been an opportunity to re-establish relationships. Instead they refused to acknowledge me. (This was the last time I ever saw my father alive.)

25 July 2011

Popped into Exmouth to tell mum & dad’s old House Manager that they were moving again. She laughed her head off ! But on a sad note, she said she’d received one of the nastiest letters she’d ever had.  Mum and dad accused her of “trespassing”.  Mum and dad had left the flat before the removers were finished and before their “friend” had cleaned the flat. The House Manager had no alternative but to do the check after mum and dad had gone. Apparently this constitutes “trespassing”. They are threatening to call the police.

28 July 2011

Had a great time in Cornwall with my eldest and youngest sister. I took the bottle of “Champagne” that mum and dad had given me to look after, to be opened at their funeral wake. Given that we weren’t sure we’d be invited to any wake, we opened it. It was in fact a bottle of bubbly pear juice that tasted like vinegar. It was sour, much like my parents at the moment. 

30 July 2011

My youngest sister and niece have come to stay.

31 July 2011

My mother’s birthday. My youngest sister and my niece went to visit and took a bunch of flowers each.

4 August 2011

Have received a letter from my mother!  My sister took two bunches of flowers for my mother's birthday. My mother thinks a bunch has come from me! Am I forgiven? She has given me her address and has invited me over and giving me details of where they are living. I think they want some help moving.

5 August 

Said goodbye to my sister and niece

6 August 2011

Before I have a chance to visit my parents, they move! No one knows where they are or how to contact them.